Over the past few days America has lost 3 well-known entertainers. Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and of course, the legendary, Michael Jackson. Of the 3, I personally liked Ed McMahon the best, simply because I loved the Johnny Carson show and Ed, Johnny, and Doc Severinsen were part of my life from the first night Johnny was on TV.
But, the reflecting I've done has been while I watched the news reels about Farrah Fawcett and her experience with cancer. What a journey she was on! Is it any different than what other cancer patients go through? I don't know. I'm betting some of it is different simply because of the resources available to her because of her social/financial standings. But for the most part, her experiences with the emotions, feeling, and physical effects of treatment were probably pretty much like anyone else. I will admit that as a cancer patient/survivor myself, I was really hoping she would do well. Anyone who has cancer will tell you, you're always a cancer patient, even if you're a survivor. I have been watching with a bit of trepidation the things that she experienced. As a nurse, I'm aware of the disease, some of it's treatments, the sequelae of treatment, etc. But as a patient, I'm thinking of my own mortality. From what I can get from her story and reports, just a few short months ago, she was told that her 5 year chance of survival was over 70%, and that she was "cured". 70%. To a cancer patient, 70% is a lot. A year ago, I was told essentially the same thing. Cured. 5 year survival chance greater than 75%. Makes one think.
This past week I had my 1 year CT scan. Most of it looked good but I had another ovarian US yesterday to evaluate a small mass on my ovary that is new. Then to come home and find out that Farrah had succumbed to this insidious disease made me think. And I'm still thinking. You wouldn't believe all the things that go through your mind. You look in the mirror and you don't look any different. At least until you start treatment. It doesn't show from the outside how there are cells inside you mutating and growing so incredibly fast and out of control. So you continue to watch and think. I've been lucky. I haven't had to be treated with the chemo drugs. Only surgery. I still have my hair. I can still taste things. But, just how much of this is only temporary?
Don't get me wrong--I am thoroughly enjoying life, not sitting here "waiting for the other shoe to drop". I'm working at two jobs I love, pretty much going where and doing what I want, and yes, even looking outside and watching the grass grow. Wouldn't do anything differently, with maybe the exception of going to Disney World. I am enjoying my family who continue to be a source of support and love. But, the happenings of the past few days, have definitely given me pause to stop and think. For all my friends out there--enjoy life and make the best of what you have. We are so much more fortunate than we think.